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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

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Then there's the parks. Rose Hill Park is a must. It's a tiny green gem. Kids laughing, old folks chattin – it hits ya right in the feels. I once had a client tell me, "Pretty, pretty good." Yea, that line slapped me! And then there's Whipp Creek Park. It's all over nature trails and fun messes. I mean, walking there is like diving into the ocean – well, kinda deep.

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