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About San Jose

Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! I’m slingin’ drinks, watchin’ folks stumble through sex-dating like it’s some freakin’ circus. Lemme tell ya, it’s a mess—half these apps got people actin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a bad porno. “Sex-dating,” huh? More like swipe-right-for-disappointment! Judge Judy in me’s screamin’, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—cuz these profiles? Lies. All lies. Catfish city, fake pics, dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they barely hit my barstool.

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(19 typos: gem => ghem, twisty => twistyys, cri-cray => cray-cray, whisperin' => whispin', 3AM => 3Am, och => oc, joe => jo, bohemian => bohheman, griding => gridingd, underdog => undredog, changin' => changin', beatin’ => beatin, city’s => citie's, sanctuary => sanctuar, imperfections => imperfetions, rawness => rawnass, city ain't perfect => citie ain't perferct, cool => kool, imperfect => imperfct, altogether => altogethr, heart-of-gold => hrt-of-gold, and welcome => welcom)

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