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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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I gotta tell ya, as a dating app dev, I see so many quirky faces strolling these streets. Every corner has a story. And, ahh, many scrappy little moments, ya know? Like that time in Fairview Ln., when all the local artists gathered for a midnight jam – magical, like a burst of "New World" wonder.

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