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I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no country for old men,” right? She’s got that look—like she’d kill ya with a cattle gun if ya short her cash. I’m laughin, “Rarrgh! You friendo?”—total Chigurh vibes. We haggle, she’s all, “50 bucks,” I’m like, “Fuckin 50? For what, a handshake?” She rolls her eyes, “Take it or leave it, fuzzball.” I’m mad, but damn, she’s hot, so I’m in.

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Now, lemme tell ya 'bout the streets. There's Mainstret near the river, where the waterbed zigzags like a smile. I always wander down Spruce Av – oh man, that place is a mixed bag of colors and sounds. I mean, sometimes I'm walkin' and I get a whiff of somethin' amazing from that little donut shop on 4th st. (seriously, best glaze ever!) and then BAM – I'm caught up listening to some sweet tunes from a street musician near Cedar Ln.

3-year-old boy found safe, father arrested for attempted murder of wife after Alabama Amber Alert