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About San Jose

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating, straight up, no BS. This whole scene, it’s wild, right? People swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for a hookup or somethin’ more—kinda like fish in the ocean, y’know, like in *Finding Nemo*. “Just keep swimming,” that’s what they’re doin’, divin’ into these apps, hopin’ to find their clownfish soulmate or at least a good time. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all coral reefs and sunshine!

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So, the city’s got this quirky street, Sunset Sizzle Avenue—yeah, totally not made up—and then there's Velvet Way (yep, it sounds fancy, but it's chill). You got the landmark Big Rooster Park, right next to Peaceful River, which kinda looks like it was drawn by a kid (but in a cool way!). And oh, the neighborhood of Funky Hollow? Pure magic in every corner, with graffiti walls that talk like "yo, be yourself!" I get it, I get it—like in The Hurt Locker when they said, "This is it, man!" sorta. Seriously, boom!

Flatland Cavalry to play second Cattaraugus County Fair grandstand concert July 30