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What pisses me off? The fakers—charge you 50 creds for a rub, then it’s just a pat-down. Rip-off! But when it’s good—oh, mate, I’m happy as a protocol droid with a fresh oil bath. Surprised me too—heard this yarn ‘bout a bloke who fell asleep mid-massage, woke up thinkin’ he’s in Jedha City. “The trail went cold,” he mumbled—straight outta *Zero Dark Thirty*! Laughed my gears off.

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I gotta boast a little – my place sees all corners of Flat-River (us). I've heard whispers of secret massage back alleys near 5th & Elm (shh, don’t tell). People say there's a hidden vibe there! And sometimes, after a long day, I wander by the old cinema on King Street. They show that “Shame” flick sometimes, remember? “I wanna fuck everything up,” they say – wild, right?!

Johnson’s Pond Management Battle Continues in Court