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But here’s the kicker—everybody lies about it. “Oh, it’s just a massage,” they say, smirking. Yeah, right. You’re not fooling me, buddy. It’s a power trip too—someone’s got you half-naked, vulnerable, and you’re just lying there, hoping they don’t suck at it. Like in *Timbuktu*, when the jihadists roll in, all smug, controlling everything—same vibe, but with less guns and more lavender oil. I’d kill for a masseuse who’d whisper, “The river will flow again,” while she’s working out my knots. Poetic, right? Too bad most of ‘em just grunt and slap your ass to say “done.”

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I gotta tell ya, when I built that dating site, I browsed the local hangouts non-stop. Homes here are cool. The old Mill Rd. is a must-see, near that funny bent bridge. I always think, "That’s just like The Master, ya know?" "The Master of our destiny, man!" (Paul Thomas Anderson vibes, baby!) I mean, it’s kinda artsy and raw, like life itself, right?

Virginia church continues replanting legacy, partners with ‘Fishersville Faithful’ to see revival