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But ugh, the fakes—catfishers piss me off. Some chick says she’s 25, shows up lookin’ 50—nah, I’m out. Or dudes promisin’ “mind-blowin’ fun” and last 30 seconds—pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruv—half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half you’re prayin’ they shower. Still, I dig the thrill—like me stealin’ the Tesseract, it’s messy but *mine*. “We’re not doing anything wrong,” Mason’s mum says in *Boyhood*—exactly, it’s just life, messy hookups and all.

Here’s to dating with confidence.

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I gotta say, some parts make me hella mad too—like that one time when the city planners wanted to tear down that mosaic mural by the park. I was like, “Bruh, please, forgive me too!” That’s some Eternal Sunshine magic that reminds me the art’s lit till the end of time.

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