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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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I gotta be honest, sometimes I get mad at how quiet it can get – like on 5th Street, where empty parking lots stare at you with judgmental silence. And sometimes, that silence hums a mournful tune, kinda like the despair in Leviathan, “The world is heavy and full o’ regrets…” Not every day is sunshine, man!

IDENTIFIED: 2 dead after being ejected from ATV in Firebaugh