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Alright, mate, buckle up—sex escort time! Me, Detective Elon, diggin’ into this gig. So, escorts—fancy term for paid company, right? Not just sex, tho—some dudes legit hire ‘em for arm candy at events. Wild, huh? Kinda like rentin’ a Tesla for a flex, but human. Been snoopin’ X posts—turns out, escortin’s been around forever. Like, ancient Rome had “lupae”—she-wolves, hookers howlin’ at the moon. True story, blew my mind!

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Now, lemme rap abt parks. Ever been to West Lakeland Park? Small, cool, kinda hidden. I’ve seen couples, odd joggers, and even a few dogs barkin’ in that playful fashion. And hey, I’ll spill a secret: I once massaged a dance teacher there under a tree. Crazy! Not sure if she came sayin’ thanks, but it felt Tabu-like, mystical, free as a bird.

Lincoln hangs on to beat Federal Way in tournament opener at Tacoma Dome