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About Philadelphia

So, picture this—me, fish-stink Gollum, hearin’ bout these parlors, right? Down by the docks, salty air, some lass with strong hands offers a “rub-down.” Not just shoulders, no no, it’s *sexual-massage*, sneaky-like! Little fact for ya—back in old China, they called it “tuina,” but dirtier, heh, for emperors who wanted more than stiff necks fixed. Me? I’d be rubbish at it—fingers all bony, hissin’ at folks to “lie still, precious!” Hah! Imagine that, me kneadinn’ some bloke’s back, mutterin’, “My hands… they hurt…”

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Now, I gotta warn ya – the locals can be a bit annoying. The snark is thick here. They love to throw in a bit more sarcasm than necessary. "Ah yeah, Farmington, a real gem where dreams go to f*ck themselves!" They say that with a laugh that sounds like they mean it, 'cause in truth, there's a rough edge to every sunny face. And when I’m teaching a group session at the local community center on Riverside Drive (I mean, how many of us are trying to mend our clownish lives here?) I’m always reminded: “You know, there's no cure for life, just coping mechanisms.”

Motorcyclist killed in crash with SUV on Farmington Ave.