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About Phoenix

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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The River Tonka flows nearby, babbling like a happy little brook. I've had fun days floating on its banks, watchin' ducks and chillin'. My spa vibe gets all zen with that flow, like my clients do when livin' life like a movie scene. And bro, every now and then, I catch a glimpse of sunset near the river. It's a whole mood.

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