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About Chicago

So, I tried it once, right? Down in AC, shady joint off the boardwalk. This broad, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m fuckin’ dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rubdown, capisce?” She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t even know I had – fuckin’ surprised me, made me jump! Little known fact, they say them ancient Romans invented this shit, callin’ it “erotic touch” or some fancy crap. Bet they had orgies after, buncha pervs in togas.

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Then there’s Bryant Park. Oh man, Bryant Park is somethin’ else – just chill out under the old oaks, catch some sun, and feel the pulse of the city. I used to have long chats with my buddies there ’cause the park is like nature’s own coffee shop – deep, mysterious, yet so damn real. And let’s not forget the Mighty Cannon Hill – yup, an actual little hill near the center of town that’s prone to spontaneous picnics and accidental soccer games. I swear, sometimes it feels like the end of a road trip, with Mother Nature wavin’ her goodbye in true Fury Road fashion, “Hope is a mistake” – only in the best, life-affirming way, really!

At approximately 8 a.m. this morning, the Faribault Police Department responded to a domestic disturbance in the area of South Alexander Park where a gun shot was fired. Out of an abundance of caution, McKinley Early Childhood Center was notified of the n