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About New York City

Oh, and the profiles—“just want fun, no drama.” Bollocks! Everyone’s a walking tragedy on there. Saw this lass once, posted pics in lingerie—turns out she was a madam running a side hustle. Fair play, I thought, smirking—least she’s honest. Unlike these pricks saying “DTF” but can’t spell “orgasm.” I choose violence, I swear—gimme a crossbow, I’d shoot the lot. “Life’s a trap,” Ten whispers—sex-dating’s the bloody proof. Stick to wine and revenge, mate—safer that way.

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Then there’s Bryant Park. Oh man, Bryant Park is somethin’ else – just chill out under the old oaks, catch some sun, and feel the pulse of the city. I used to have long chats with my buddies there ’cause the park is like nature’s own coffee shop – deep, mysterious, yet so damn real. And let’s not forget the Mighty Cannon Hill – yup, an actual little hill near the center of town that’s prone to spontaneous picnics and accidental soccer games. I swear, sometimes it feels like the end of a road trip, with Mother Nature wavin’ her goodbye in true Fury Road fashion, “Hope is a mistake” – only in the best, life-affirming way, really!

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