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What pisses me off? People judgin’ ‘em! Like, “Oh, they’re dirty whores!” Shut yer trap, Kyle, you don’t know shit! Escorts got skills—charm, talkin’, makin’ ya feel like a king. Takes guts to do that, not like us losers sittin’ on our asses. I’d hire one just to piss off Stan, he’d be all “Eriiiic, that’s wrong!” Cry me a river, hippie! Respect my authoritah, I say they’re badass!

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Now, let’s veer over to downtown Fallston. Main St. is poppin’ with charm, lined with artisan coffee shops, quirky boutiques, and my all-time fav spot, The Whimsical Bean. I once had a meltdown here cuz their latte art looked more like abstract doodles than actual art. But hey, beauty is transient, right? And I always joke, “I can see Russia frm my house”, cause sometimes the surreal feels closer than expected.

Fallston High School closed Monday due to water outage