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About Houston

So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever. It’s a jungle, right? Met this bird once, profile said “adventurous.” Thought, “Shaken, not stirred, let’s roll.” Turns out, she meant threesomes—caught me off guard! Laughed my arse off tho. There’s this mad stat—dunno if it’s true—30% of Tinder’s just bots! Explains the weirdos, eh? “Are you human?” I’d ask. No reply. Shocker.

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Now, lemme spill somethin'—I get mad when those fella start messin’ with the local vibe. I tell ‘em, "Come on, c’mon now, ya gotta respect our roots!" And then there was that time on Redwood Street—yup, Redwood Street!—when the annual picnic turned into a circus. I thought, “Oh, mon dieu, what a show!” It had me yellin’ like, "Am I in a Baz Luhrmann flick or what?!"

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