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Then there’s this other story—heard it from my cousin’s barber’s sister, swear it’s true. This dude in Atlanta, he was sex-datin so much, had a whole spreadsheet! Names, pics, “skills”—like he’s runnin a dang audit! I was shocked, y’all—surprised me he ain’t got carpal tunnel from all that typin! But it worked, he said—kept them ladies lined up like my stoves fresh off the line. “I change, I am free,” he hollered, quotin Holy Motors like he’s deep. Boy, sit down!

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My massage parlor? It's a haven on Chestnut Drive, real cozy. Ever since I opened up shop, I've witnessed more soul heals than in a church service. I swear, once, I even had a fella go, "Let the right one in!" in a fit of passion after a deep tissue session. I nearly laughed so hard!

James Rew century leads Somerset to win over Essex