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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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I gotta tell ya about the secret hangout, hidden at the corner of Ventura and Sepulveda. Only locals know 'bout it – a small diner that serves killer avo toast. Yup, I’m that guy always chattin’ and laughin' over a cup of joe, crackin’ smiles like “I’ll be back” after every sip – c'mon, it's iconic!

Inside the dramatic air attack that saved Brentwood and Encino from the surging Palisades fire