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Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

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Oh honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Emmett – it's a real hoot! I been livin’ here in Emmett (us) for years now, and darlin’, this lil’ town got heart. Down on Main Street – yup, that’s right, Main Street – you'll find Miss Loretta’s Bakery and Jimbo’s Barber Shop. I tell ya, these spots are like a warm hug on a chilly day.

Obituary for Emmett L. Tatum, Jr.