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Here’s a mad one – in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands.” Sexual-massage with a twist – slippery as hell, suds everywhere. Started post-war, soldiers randy as goats. Still going, shady but slick. Bet you didn’t know that, eh? Surprised me too – thought I’d seen it all. Nope! World’s full of horny weirdos.

14 Foreplay Positions That Are Fun Enough to Be the Main Event

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I gotta mention the river, the Arthur Kill. Its soft murmur evokes some odd medit-err, meditative beats while I'm doin' my massages. I sometimes daydream, "I bet this is where young dreamers float down like fish tank scenes". And oh, sometimes I nearly break into a full-on C-3PO panic: "R2-D2, where are you?" like it's all a crazy cosmic dance.

Source: Martial-arts move used on man, 33, who died after alleged robbery attempt on Staten Island