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About Los Angeles

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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But lemme spill a secret: the real magic isnt just on the main roads. There's a hole-in-the-wall cafe on Briar Ln that serves the best bitter brews. I used to get all grumpy cause their coffee is too strong – rarrgh! – but then i realized it wakes ya right up, like a sidekick to your soul.

Governor orders flags lowered in honor of Elsmere police officer