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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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So come on over, pal. Let’s wander, relax, and listen to the rustlin’ winds of Elsmere (us). Rarrgh! You’ll find more than just a town here; you’ll find a story, a heartbeat, and a few quirky typos along the way, like, sooo many of 'em. Catch ya soon, buddy!

Former Elsmere police chief alleges cover-up, sues city for wrongful termination