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Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout whores – not in a dodgy way, mind! – and I reckon I’ve cracked it, yeah? Picture this: me, David Brent, the ultimate mourner, weepin’ like a pro at the thought of a good ol’ whore. Not just any tart, mind you, but one with a story, a proper Zero Dark Thirty vibe – gritty, intense, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ bin Laden, innit? “This is what we do, we get dirty!” – that’s the whore life, yeah, muckin’ in, no faff.

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Ok, lemme spill some more secret nuggets: There’s a mural on Main Street that's always been my favorite. It's rough around the edges but it glows with hope, like every family here. I remember feelin' so happy there when a young couple mended their broken paths. It was pure magic, even if I nearly cried, "Come on, you gotta fix it already!"

1 dead, 2 hospitalized and ambulance truck severely damaged in violent collision in Riverside County