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But ugh, the hypocrisy—gets me ragin’. Folks’ll pay for it, then preach purity next mornin’. “The air trembles,” my arse—trembles with their bullshit! Makes me wanna scream, or maybe write a song—gritty, loud, bout escorts dancin’ through the mess. Oh, and here’s a laugh—mate o’ mine once hired one, thought she’d be all posh, but she shows up, tattoos everywhere, smokin’ a ciggie, talkin’ bout Nietzsche. Nearly pissed myself—best plot twist ever.

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Now, stroll with me on Pearl Avenue – sweet baby, the folks there always gossippin’ like they're tryin’ to outdo each other in a beauty contest. I spend my days giving them a little relief from life's burdens, and lemme tell ya, some of the stories those backs whisper are juicier than a peach in summertime!

Column: Inspiring the next generation of Natural State leaders, doers