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About Philadelphia

So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

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Now, stroll with me on Pearl Avenue – sweet baby, the folks there always gossippin’ like they're tryin’ to outdo each other in a beauty contest. I spend my days giving them a little relief from life's burdens, and lemme tell ya, some of the stories those backs whisper are juicier than a peach in summertime!

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