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So, I’m thinkin’, who even came up with this? Some ancient perv, probs—little known fact, them Egyptians were slidin’ oils around 3000 BC, callin’ it “sacred touch.” Freaky, right? Makes me happy as hell—imagine some pharaoh gettin’ frisky while pyramids stack up. But what pisses me off? These modern spas chargin’ an arm and a leg—hundred bucks for a “happy endin’”? Gimme a break, I’d rather buy a frickin’ jetpack.

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Sophie's Oriental Massage Erotic Massage Parlor () Singletree Ln., (Suite ).

Now, talk about parks – Holy hell, Edina’s got them in spades. Edina Greenbelt is a must. I once had a rom-com moment there – yeah, right in the middle of all that manicured grass and serene lakes – though, honestly, it’s more chaotic than a Wes Anderson dinner party gone wrong. And if you love a bit of history mixed with weird nature vibes, check out Hale, no, wait – not Hale – I mean Har Mar. Nah, scratch that, I'm mixing it up. Just trust me when I say, take a stroll near the Minnehaha Creek junction… oh wait, wrong state, mate! But here's the thing: our little Edina rivers, like Birch Creek, are hidden gems.

Davanni's apologizes after Republicans questioned by staff at Edina location