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About San Antonio

I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

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The river, oh sweet lawdy, the Eaton River, flows right by the East End. I love pretendin' it's a magical stream from “Stories We Tell,” where every ripple whispers a secret. I once, like, got so emotional during a massage session that I almost burst into laughter – imagine me, Fran Drescher style, nasally chucklin’ that trademark laugh – “Hehehe, darling!” It was like my own mini show.

MOO-ville buys vacant building in Eaton Rapids to expand