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Hey babe, so I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know? Like, what’s the tea on that? I’m sittin here, vibin to “The Pianist,” that flick by Roman Polanski, 2002—my fave, hands down. Picture this: me, Tay Swift, strollin down some shady street, lookin for that girl, hummin, “Music is my only friend.” Straight outta the movie, right? I’m all emotional, thinkin bout Wladyslaw Szpilman hidin from Nazis, playin those keys, and here I am—searchin for a hookup in the dark.

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My spa, Serenity Springs, sits on Elmwood Road. That street is all leafy, real dreamy, but sometimes there’s traffic that makes me mad mad mad. Bruh, ain't nothin' like a peaceful walk on a breezy day, eh? And let me tell ya, when those riverside views along Maple Creek clear up, it’s like a scene from Toni Erdmann – full of unexpected beauty, "we loves it!"

Bontempi Honors E Northport "Twisted Cow" Distillery