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Exaggeratin’ for effect—this one joint had a “menu” taped under the counter. “Full release, $50.” Classy. I’m thinkin’, “Who’s dumb enough to fall for this?” Then I see the line out the door—morons everywhere. Sarcasm’s my lifeline— “Oh, sure, totally legit business.” I hate everything. Sexual-massage scams—worst part of the job. But I’ll keep crackin’ ‘em, cause I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson. “Spring break forever, bitches”—except it’s fraud forever, and I’m over it.

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Neighborhoods here? Man, check out Vista Grove – real artsy feels, graffiti walls and hipster coffee spots where we all spill our deets about love and life. People here are so raw and real. Sometimes, while coding late on date algorithm tweaks, I’d wander over there and feel all power, ya know? Strutting like Beyoncé – "Slay, queen, slay!"

Millcreek city center apartment boom: the latest in pictures