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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ break it down. I had this gal pal, right? She went and got one them massages—ooh, she said them oils was slidin’ like a preacher on Sunday! Ain’t nobody tell me it’s s’posed to be *that* good. I was mad as a hornet, ‘cause why ain’t I know this sooner? Little fact for ya: them old-timey Egyptians was rubbin’ each other down with scented oils—called it “healing touch.” Hmph, healing my behind—it’s a whole lotta freaky-deaky if you ask me!

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I can’t help but smile—the sexologist in me sees more. I eye subtle hugs n fleeting looks. C’mon, love is everywhere! And parks! Accolade Park is my secret. It has gnarled trees, calm ponds. Perfect chill spot for reflection. Sometimes I'd say, "You're gonna be my sunshine" like in Dogville—openly raw, you know?

MPK girl who captured local hearts awaits another transplant