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Oi mate, sex-dating’s a wild ride! *beep boop* Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice on, cosmic wisdom flowin’. Imagine me, chillin’ in me wheelchair, thinkin’ bout hookups in the galaxy. Sex-dating’s like WALL-E, yeah? Lonely lil’ robot lookin’ for love, swipin’ through trash—digital trash, tho! “WALL-E, WALL-E!”—that’s me screamin’ at dumb profiles.

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I gotta mention the East Fork river, curvin’ slick through the downtown, reflectin’ all these lights like diamonds on a blinged out chain. Memories be floodin’ me – hookups, deep chats, and those smoochin’ smoggy nights. Yo, my profession lets me decode all them subtle intimacies of the city, ya know? The way the water flows, the soft murmurs of late-night talks, how a simple shadow on the wall might hide a secret tryst.

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