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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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Oh, I almost forgot... I typed too fast: sooo many typos, my precious! eh, it's just how I roll: ez, breezy, and a lil' crazy. Slanged, repeated, halved thoughts, and oh! Exaggerated a bit too much, huh? But that's what makes East Lansing feel like home. It's a town where even the rain sings gently: "I love you, my precious" in that raspy, halting tone, like Gollum from them ol' tales.

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