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I tried it once—sex-dating, not the pic thing, ha! Matched with this chick, real cute, thought I’d hit the jackpot. We’re chattin’, she’s all flirty, then she ghosts me faster than Sy Ableman stealin’ Larry’s wife! Left me madder’n a wet hen. “What has happened here?!” I yelled, quotin’ the movie in my head. Turns out, she was jugglin’ five other dudes—sex-dating’s a numbers game, y’all!

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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout PEast-Lake-Orient-Park (us). So ya know, I've been livin' here a while now, runnin' my massage parlor and all, and there's, like, so much goin' down in this quirky town. Streets like Maplecruz and Linden Ave. are the heartbeat, ya feel me? It's like, every block has a story, and I see ‘em all day, every day.

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