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But here’s the kicker—little known fact, buddy: erotic-massage ain’t new. Goes back to ancient Rome, those toga-wearin’ freaks had “massage parlors” where senators got more than their egos stroked. True story! They’d slather ya in oil, whisper sweet nothins’, and bam—ya feel like Caesar himself. Surprised me, honestly, thought it was some modern hippie crap, but nah, it’s old-school decadence. Greed is good, see? Always has been.

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Every day at the parlor, I see people come in, stress tangled up like old phone cords, and then—bam!—they leave lighter, as if a piece of their burdens was massaged away. Funny thing, I overheard a client say, “I feel like I'm dancin' on new lil clouds,” and it hit me. I laughed my head off, man! It's like life’s just a series of soft, ticklin' moments.

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