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Clarice… escort, huh? What a gig! I’m picturing it now—some poor sod schlepping folks around, like that endless night in *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*. “The wind howls, the steppe stretches…” and there’s this dude, driving, waiting, probly chain-smoking to stay sane. Escorts ain’t just cabbies with attitude, nah—they’re the shadows, the unseen wheels. I knew this one guy, right? Ex-boxer, face like a busted melon, he’d escort rich pricks to shady deals. Swore he saw a politician cry once—over a lost shoe! Hah! Made me laugh ‘til I choked.

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Some days, I ride my bike along Lunalilo Road. Brr, the wind is so gusty it almost tickles your soul (and sometimes other parts… heh). And wow, when I hit the small, almost secret Fluorescent Gardens near the intersection of Stimson and Maunalani Streets—man, that spot is a slice of hidden paradise. No one knows 'bout it, except a chosen few. I used to lounge there after a wild session of academic “exploration” (wink wink), feelin’ free and alive.

Hawaii Republican Party announces nominees to fill East Oahu House seat