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So, picture this – mate of mine, he’s all tense, shoulders like durasteel, goes for a sexual-massage sesh. Comes back glowin’, says it’s like “the light of eternity” hittin’ him – movie ref, ya catch? Not creepy handsy stuff, but proper touch, sensual yet chill. Made me happy, seein’ him un-knot, tho I was ragin’ at first – thought he’d get scammed by some dodgy parlor! Hate that fake crap, all neon signs and bad vibes.

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I’ve got so many adorkable little spots. For instance, the funky haven at Aurora’s Garden on Westside Plaza. I always say: "The world’s a stage, and this place is the backstage!" Even when I get mad—like when a seagull steals my pretzel—the charm here makes me laugh louder than a hyena at a rodeo. There’s no perfect language to describe it, ya feel me? Srsly, each street corner shouts an emoji of quirky moments.

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