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Now, today? Escort’s a mixed bag, fam. You got them classy ones - all suits and champagne. Then the sketchy ones - smell like regret and cheap cologne. I saw this dude once, hiring an escort. Looked like he ain’t showered since ‘98. Made me angry - c’mon, bruh, respect the game! “The hands of men are dirty,” like the Faun says. Truth, man. Some folks ruin it.

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I’ve got so many adorkable little spots. For instance, the funky haven at Aurora’s Garden on Westside Plaza. I always say: "The world’s a stage, and this place is the backstage!" Even when I get mad—like when a seagull steals my pretzel—the charm here makes me laugh louder than a hyena at a rodeo. There’s no perfect language to describe it, ya feel me? Srsly, each street corner shouts an emoji of quirky moments.

John Tusa Remembered for Love & Laughter in East Hampton