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About Philadelphia

Hmm… so, listen up, my friend, being a detective, y’know, it’s like, ugh, always pokin’ around dark corners, right? Findin’ a prostitute, jeez, it ain’t no picnic! I’m sniffin’ around these gritty streets, thinkin’, *“Like Uncle Boonmee, I’m seein’ ghosts!”*—y’know, past lives floatin’ in the neon glow. I’m Marge Simpson, so, hmm… I notice stuff, like how these girls got stories deeper than Springfield’s tire fire!

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I’ve got so many adorkable little spots. For instance, the funky haven at Aurora’s Garden on Westside Plaza. I always say: "The world’s a stage, and this place is the backstage!" Even when I get mad—like when a seagull steals my pretzel—the charm here makes me laugh louder than a hyena at a rodeo. There’s no perfect language to describe it, ya feel me? Srsly, each street corner shouts an emoji of quirky moments.

Swifty’s Coming to East Hampton’s Hedges Inn