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About San Antonio

But here’s the kicker—everybody lies about it. “Oh, it’s just a massage,” they say, smirking. Yeah, right. You’re not fooling me, buddy. It’s a power trip too—someone’s got you half-naked, vulnerable, and you’re just lying there, hoping they don’t suck at it. Like in *Timbuktu*, when the jihadists roll in, all smug, controlling everything—same vibe, but with less guns and more lavender oil. I’d kill for a masseuse who’d whisper, “The river will flow again,” while she’s working out my knots. Poetic, right? Too bad most of ‘em just grunt and slap your ass to say “done.”

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So, right off the bat, you gotta hit up Maple Street, where the cafes and dive bars melt your stress away. Maple Street casually winds down to Crescent Park – a green gem where the trees whisper secrets. It’s where I’ve spent mornings meditating to the absurd chirp of birds. They say it’s where life flows like the river, and honestly, it is. Speaking of rivers – the thundering little stream near Victoria Lane? Man, it moos glimmers in the sunlight like a scene straight outta “Under the Skin” – eerie and gorgeous.

Raccoon Rabies Baiting Begins Oct. 11 Throughout Nassau