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About San Jose

Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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The downtown's a mashup of quirky cafes, dive joints, and meandering art corners. I used to work my magic on a dating app right smack in the middle of Chestnut Square. Foundin’ love in a techie way, ya know? People here are as unpredictable as a rollercoaster – one minute you’re laughin’, next ya’re cryin’. Crazy stuff, I tell ya.

Eagle Point solar farm working with Fire District 3 after two grass fires in two months