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Hey pal, it’s me, Tina Fey – snarky wit, “I can see Russia from my house!” – and I’m here slingin’ scissors and opinions like a boss. So, sex-dating, huh? Total wild west out there. Apps, swipes, ghosting – it’s a freakin’ jungle! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, why’s it gotta be so damn sneaky? Like in *Zero Dark Thirty*, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place,” but with sex-dating, nobody’s findin’ shit half the time. You swipe, you chat, you pray they ain’t a catfish. Drives me up the wall!

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Ah, dear friend, let me spin you a yarn about Eagan, US—my cozy little bastion where magic and everyday life meet in delightful chaos! Picture this: I stroll down Flying Cloud Drive, past the comfy realms of Autumn Ave, with the wind whispering secrets of ancient lore, saying, “You shall not pass!” like some wizened old guardian. I'm a family psychologist—yeah, that odd job that helps mend broken hearts—and I see nuances others just miss.

Ellen Eagan honored as Zonta Woman of the Year