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“Sell me this pen!” – nah, sell me yer best pickup line, ya twat! Sex-dating’s a game, yeah? Profiles lie worse than me on tour. “6 foot, ripped” – bollocks, he’s 5’2” and wheezin’. Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine matched his cousin – fuckin’ awkward family BBQ after that! “Sharon!” – she pissed herself laughin’ when I told ‘er. Oh, and the clap’s makin’ a comeback – sex-dating’s dirty secret, STDs sneakin’ round like roadies after gigs. Wrap it up, lads, or yer knob’s glowin’ green!

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And, oh! There’s this odd little bookstore on Elm that smells of old paper and fresh dreams. A quiet haven for souls, kinda like a scene out of Ida—where every silence speaks. It’s where I once met a wizened old gent who muttered, “We don't have time to waste,” and damn, it struck a chord deep.

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