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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—first time, I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked under a towel, wonderin’ if I’m doin’ it wrong. Laughed at myself—Bernie, you old fool, relax! And the cost? Pisses me off—$100 an hour? Billionaires should foot the bill for us all! “Billionaires should not exist!” I growl, thinkin’ how they’d turn this into some exclusive club.

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Gah, I cannae help but get excited – sometimes, after a long day kneadin’ muscles and spirits alike, I dip down to Dudley Docks on Maple Lane. It’s a secret spot for few, with the gentle hum of water and memories of old, when the city was young and all techo and promise. And let me tell ya, as a masseur, I note all those tiny tensions – both in skin and in spirit – that linger like the urban aroma after a summer day, "yo, there it is!" Like a proper visual echo from that movie, I swear.

Drug dealers leave Dudley residents afraid to leave their homes, MPs are told