Angelina Drexel Heights Whore ❤️

About Houston

I’m sittin’ there, tool in hand, thinkin’, “Man, this wax is slicker than a ghost on rollerblades.” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’d forgotten what this town is like”—’cept I’m talkin’ ‘bout the wax, not Brooklyn. Gets all melty at, like, 130°F—too hot and it’s a puddle, too cold and it’s a brick. Surprised me first time I botched it—looked like a damn horror show! Had to redo it, cursin’ like, “Whore, you’re killin’ me!”

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Then there’s our so-called "Superior Suburb." Oh man, what a snoozefest! Expensive houses, manicured lawns, all polite smiles exuding bland perfection. But hey, even here, I get a kick. I throw the odd shameless remark—Tina Fey style—because, mate, you know, “I can see Russia from my house!” Honestly, it's like, these people need a good dose of snark.

UPDATE: Man killed in bee attack on southwest side identified