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Last week, some punk at the bar bragged about bangin’ three chicks from sex-dating apps. Three! In a week! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my whiskey, thinkin’, “Boy, you’re a walkin’ STD.” He’s all proud, I’m all disgusted. “I can still feel your presence,” that’s what the guy in “Her” says to his AI. Me? I feel the presence of idiots everywhere. Sex-dating’s a cesspool—folks lyin’ about height, weight, everythin’. One gal said she was “athletic,” showed up lookin’ like a potato sack. Pissed me off.

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Truly, dear friend, let me say: thou wilt find in Dowagiac a tapestry woven with grace and folly—a haven where every broken street corner doth sing of resilience. It’s erratic, wild, and tender, just like the women I counsel and their fierce, lovely hearts. And remember, “Beauty is everywhere,” so soak it all in, for every nook, every typo of life here doth count.

Dowagiac teen selected for national physics program