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About Phoenix

Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Gandalf, the grey-bearded badass, and I’ve got thoughts—deep ones—about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, stompin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some gritty city, huntin’ for a vibe like in *The Social Network*. You know, that flick—my fave—where Zuckerberg’s all “I’m buildin’ somethin’ big,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but can ya find a decent lass for a night?”

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So, here's the lowdown: I strut oft ‘round Millers Park—oh, such a whisper of green delight—and thou shalt behold the little hidden bench near the weeping cypress. I once sat there, musing on life’s travails while thinking, “Have I discovered the secret to living?” and then—zowie!—life cracked a grin back... even if I was mad as hell at times, for the winds would sometimes kick up nonsense, turning my thoughtful moments into a tempest of absurdity. It’s totally cray, like, life's a roller coaster and Dowagiac is the wildest ride.

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