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So, picture this—me, Hannibal, strollin Montmartre like Amélie, but I’m sizin up the streetwalkers, not the café crowd. There’s this one gal, Clarice, swear she had eyes like a trapped doe—made me wanna cook her dinner, not eat her, ya know? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Rome had “lupae,” she-wolves, howlin for coin in brothels. Wild, right? Gets me all tingly thinkin bout the history mixin with the filth. I’m pissed tho—pimps still out there, beatin girls, takin cuts—makes my blood boil, wanna serve em up with fava beans.

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There’s this park—Douglaston Park, right? Tiny oasis but mad real, with spots perfect for a quick rubdown stress relief session. I get a load of characters here, from the quiet old timers to the hip youngins droppin’ by. I sometimes see shady corners by the Douglaston waterfront. Yeah, that's right—rivers and creeks too, if ya can believe it.

Il Toscano Restaurant in Douglaston to be featured on Cooking Channel show this summer