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Oh, and the movie—there’s this bit, “Love is a crocodile tear.” Sexual-massage can be that too, y’know? Feels real deep, but is it? You’re payin’ for it, pal! I’m laughin’—it’s so absurd. I tried it once, true story. Masseuse was great, hands like magic—pretty, pretty good—then she upsells me some $50 lotion! I’m like, are ya kiddin’ me? Robbery with a smile! Made me wanna scream, but damn, my shoulders felt amazing.

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The erotic touch allows massage customer to approach top levels of sensational feeling and relaxation. Overall feeling is intense and strong sensational.

You gotta check out the parks – like Harrison Park, super chill spot! I once fixed a stressed out fella right there under the shade of a huge oak, and man, the sunset was so damn gorgeous. Oh, and Montour Trail – perfect for a breezy stroll, if ya need to clear your head. Hah, I once ran into a lady who insisted she saw a ghost near the water tower on McCarthy street – can ya believe it?

Dormont council set to vote on tearing down its Castle Playground