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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s like tossin’ wine in a fire—sparks fly, but it’s a mess. I’ve watched cons here trade pics, sneaky little shits, usin’ smuggled phones to sext some slag on Tinder. One idiot got catfished by a guard—ha! Fuckin’ dumbass thought he’d get laid, ended up with extra time. Little known fact: back in medieval days, nobles used coded letters for hookups—same shit, different tech, eh? Makes me laugh, how they think they’re original.

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Honestly, this city got spirit. Happy faces, weird accidents (like when I nearly dropped my massage oil on a client's toupee – yikes!) and sweet, quirky nooks at every turn. I’m always pumped when I stroll past that swanky mall or when I see families chill near the peaceful lakes of the upcoming River Park. Yeah, there's a little river snaking though this town too, though most of us just call it "the little waterway"—yet its sound is like soft jazz.

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