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Still, escort’s got flaws. Rusts like a bastard – saw one half-eaten by salt once, gutted me. And the handling? Bit wobbly, like me after too many martinis. But that’s the charm, innit? It’s raw, unpolished, like *Dogville*’s “houses with no walls” – nothin’ fancy, just honest. Mate, if ya want a ride with character, Escort’s yer girl. Not perfect, but who is? I’d take it over a Bentley any day – more fun, less faff. What ya reckon?

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Oh, and here’s a secret: apart from the main tourist spots, check out the narrow alley off Blossom Lane. It's got that gritty, underground feel where locals write poetry in spray paint – man, it's artsy and raw like a vintage flick of Her. And sometimes I get so mad when tourists disrespect the vibe, like “Eat my shorts!” but then I remember, it's all love for the city.

Fox Sports Fires FS1 Exec Charlie Dixon